Two years and four months

I'm just so incredibly busy. Here's why.

Posted by joy.the.curious on Aug 23, 2021 in Jacob | 24 comments

I received the following comment on my blog about six weeks ago.

Joy,
I hope things are going OK for you. You haven’t made a post in a long time and I hope you’re OK.

Wow, it HAS been a long time, hasn’t it? I looked back and noticed it’s been two years and four months since my last blog post. Two years and four months!

It’s almost hard to remember that far back since 2019 seems like a world almost foreign to us now… the “pre-COVID” world. Who knew at the time we’d soon be thrust into an international crisis, a forced lockdown, and a whole new way of life that included quarantining, face masks, social distancing, and supply shortages.

Did that really happen?

Oh yes, that happened.

Fortunately, our family fared pretty well. We did get COVID, but nothing was severe. Some of us had symptoms, some didn’t, but we were lucky and I’m so grateful.

So, in answer to the question, “Are you OK?,” my answer is yes, Mark, and thank you so much for asking. I’m absolutely fine, but just so incredibly busy.

Here’s why.

Besides work and life, I’ve had the great fortune to be involved in a long term writing project that has kept me incredibly busy for the past two years and four months. Finally, I’d like to share what I’ve been up to during this time.

Most of you who follow my blog already know my story. When I started “Joy the Curious” back in 2010, it was simply a tool to get me writing again. It all started with a story about a rundown beach house on Longboat Key, Florida – Villa am Meer. Somewhere in that process… of starting a blog, registering my own domain name, creating my own email account, and receiving ongoing, positive feedback on my blog story, something started to change in me. I began to feel like… well… a writer.

When my Villa am Meer story began to wind down, I started looking for a new “mystery” to write about and chose a local missing person case. In 1989, an 11-year-old boy had been kidnapped from a small town not far from mine. His name was Jacob Wetterling.

Just like the COVID pandemic, it’s almost hard for me to remember what my life was like pre-Jacob. The little blog story I started writing about him in 2010 launched my life onto such a new trajectory, I am forever stunned by the magnitude of it all. Truly, it was life changing.

It’s not just that Jacob was found. That, in itself, is such a miracle I still find it hard to believe. But, the bonds of deep friendship, loyalty, and trust that I built with people along the way are the unexpected blessings I could have never anticipated before my journey began.

And that’s what brings me back to the past two years and four months. During this time, I’ve been working with Patty Wetterling – Jacob’s mom – to write her memoir.

When Patty first broached the question almost six years ago, I wasn’t sure I could do it. In fact, I was QUITE sure I couldn’t do it. Who was I after all? A blogger, a copywriter, a marketing manager. What did I know about writing a memoir? But, we dove in. She made me some chocolate chip cookies and sent me home with boxes and bins full of STUFF. There were photos, video tapes, newspapers, phone logs, and important documents related to the investigation. There were copies of the Torchbearer newsletter, sent to those who had been chosen to carry the 1996 Olympic torch from Athens to Atlanta. There was a Christmas card from the Clintons tossed in among many others from family and friends. And, most moving all, were the mementos of Jacob’s – a handwritten journal from 6th grade, homemade cards for his mom and dad, and school artwork that went all the way back to kindergarten.

I bought some new watertight bins from the Container Store, labeled them by category, and started organizing the stuff. I can do this part, I thought. Organizing was something I could at least wrap my head around.

And so, it began. I started sifting through all the newspaper articles, case documents, and other memorabilia, then I started making a timeline. Next, I took on the arduous task of converting the VHS tapes to DVDs. I watched all those grave and dire newscasts from the early days of Jacob’s disappearance and was always struck by the abrupt transition of whatever came next… an episode of Knots Landing, Falcon Crest, or a Minnesota Vikings football game. The before and after of their lives was so apparent and stark.

Next step… the actual writing. At first I was a cheerleader who encouraged Patty to “just write.” While I made scene cards, researched newspaper archives, and kept adding to my timeline, Patty started writing pages of her life. We created a system. She’d send me a draft, I’d type comments in the margins and mark places where I wanted to know more. We plugged along and started to catch our groove.

Then, all hell broke loose. On October 28, 2015, Danny Heinrich was arrested and named a person of interest in Jacob’s kidnapping. Ten months after that, Heinrich accepted a plea deal and led authorities to Jacob’s remains.

As you can imagine, Patty’s memoir was put on the back burner for a long while as she and her family struggled to make sense of the past 27 years. It was all so horrible. But, with time and love, Patty started to get her bearings again. And so, we got back to writing.

The only problem was, now we had a much bigger story to tell. The autobiographical memoir of Patty’s life that we originally set out to write no longer seemed relevant. We needed to add the story of how Jacob was found, on top of Patty’s life and legacy. We were overwhelmed by the enormity of it all and not even sure how to start.

So, we got going again with a renewed determination, a new story structure, and a whole new set of sticky notes.

That was about two years and four months ago. Now, after a lot of sweat and tears, we finally have a completed first draft. Earlier this summer we sent it out to four very smart beta readers, and using their feedback and suggestions, we are now diligently working on a second draft. If all goes as planned, we hope to have a final draft that is ready for querying in the very near future.

You may have noticed I’m using the word “we” a lot here. To clarify, this is still Patty’s memoir, written in first person. However, over this very long process, I have moved steadily from cheerleader, to writing coach, to editor, to ghostwriter, and now… to co-author. I’m so grateful to this amazing woman for believing in me. Thank you, Patty.

I promise to share more about our progress and I’ll try not to make you wait so long between blog posts. As it turns out, a lot can happen over two years and four months.

Finally, one more update. Many have asked for a status update on Chris Newberry’s Jacob Wetterling documentary (which is the last post I wrote two years and four months ago). Chris recently sent some exciting news in his newsletter about a new deal with a London-based production company. You can read all about it (and sign up for the newsletter) here:

Chris Newberry Productions – August 12, 2021 newsletter

Thanks to everyone who’s checked in on me at joy.the.curious over the past two years and four months. Stay healthy and stay tuned!

Sorting “the stuff”

Writing day at Rosie’s cabin

Getting organized. With wine.

Going through the mountain of cards and letters. Photo credit: Shelley Paulson

Virtual MISA retreat at our VRBO in Winona

Working on story structure in Winona

Trying to get a handle on our word count

Going through edits. Thanks beta readers!

Next time

Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope

24 Comments

1. Julie Plante | August 23, 2021 at 8:58 pm

   Dear Joy,
   It is wonderful to hear what’s new. Congratulations to you and Patty for the courage, commitment, friendship, and trust to get words onto paper. I will be excited to own a copy of the book.
   Julie

2. Kathleen Magrew | August 23, 2021 at 9:08 pm

   It was such a joy to get your update email. What a wonderful project. The Wetterling family will always have a place in my heart–I donate to Zero Abuse monthly now. I will patiently await the next update. Oh, and by the way, I love the large print labels on the bins. I, too, am organizing all my photos and correspondence of a lifetime. Once the items are scanned, I will choose photos and write stories about them — my memories.

3. Rosie Peterson | August 23, 2021 at 9:13 pm

   I absolutely am so proud of both of you lovely ladies!! Your friendship, talent of writing and focusing on the end result is amazing. Hugs to two beautiful women!

   Rosie Peterson

4. Jan Redman | August 23, 2021 at 9:14 pm

   Wow, Joy!!! This is such an exciting path you’ve been on these past two years and four months! You are incredible!!!

5. Marlene Dehne | August 23, 2021 at 9:14 pm

   Wow you are amazing! I am so glad you decided to take this on with Patty.
   Can’t wait to read it.

6. Sharon Ryba | August 23, 2021 at 9:18 pm

   I’ve thought about what you were doing so often. So glad to hear you are well and that you are working together with Patty on this incredible project. Wishing you the best!!

7. Joy’s mom | August 23, 2021 at 9:31 pm

   So proud of your tenacity and heart, and Patty for her strength and courage. You are both loved

8. Annette Benson | August 23, 2021 at 9:34 pm

   Thanks for the update! I look forward to reading this!

9. Ruth McDonnell | August 23, 2021 at 9:38 pm

   You are both amazing and inspiring. So wonderful your journey has progressed so far. God bless you and give you peace.

10. Mabyn Armstrong | August 23, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    My heart is with both you and Patty as you write Jacob’s story. Patty’s courage is unsurpassed. Her tenacity, grace and magnitude of heart is the foundation of Jacob’s story. I am so grateful to you Joy for bringing closure to his story. I remember in a presentation at a law enforcement conference, Patty recounted an experience she had where she received a letter from a young girl who told Patty she must never give up hope because if she was Jacob, she would not want to come home if her Mom had given up hope.
    When I heard Patty tell this story, My heart swelled because I realized the reality of what I imagined Patty was living every day. Hope can be a torturous curse. Every day you wake up with hope believing that this day might be the day that a miracle will happen and Jacob will be found. Then you go to bed with the despair that it was not. Torture because of the constant exposure to two extremes – hope and despair. I cannot fathom the courage it takes to live those extremes for years and years on a daily basis. I wish I could have carried some of the burden of that. I am grateful to you joy for bringing an end to that torturous cycle.
    It was not the end anyone would have wanted but it ended the cycle of hope and despair. I cannot think about Jacob’s story without thinking of that story.
    I wish I could have carried just part of that burden of hope.
    Love to you both.
    Mabyn

11. P.M. | August 23, 2021 at 10:43 pm

    So happy to read your post. I’ve missed you! Looking forward to the book you are both working on.

12. Shannon Koshiol | August 23, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    Wow. That’s incredible. Best wishes to you both. It’s an amazing story to share.

13. Jean | August 23, 2021 at 10:55 pm

    It is so great to hear from you! I am looking forward to this new book.

14. Amy | August 23, 2021 at 11:28 pm

    Thank you for the update, I look forward to reading the book!

15. Claudia Hopkins | August 24, 2021 at 4:53 am

    Joy I have always loved your posts and look forward to more!

16. Janet Strandlie | August 24, 2021 at 8:04 am

    I am Jennifer’s (the college girl at the convenience store) mom, and I have been following this story all these years. I will definitely be buying the book — several copies! My praises to you both…

17. Stephanie | August 24, 2021 at 10:15 am

    Joy and Patty,

    I began crying when I read this paragraph, “It’s not just that Jacob was found. That, in itself, is such a miracle I still find it hard to believe. But, the bonds of deep friendship, loyalty, and trust that I built with people along the way are the unexpected blessings I could have never anticipated before my journey began”, and I’m still crying. Your story, Patty’s story, Jacob’s story…has touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing it. I wish I could hug you both. Believe me, I’m sending hugs through my written word.

    I wish you all good health, and may your writing continue with effortless grace. I look forward to reading more posts and this book.

    Stephanie

    P.S what is a beta reader, and how does one become one?

18. Vicki | August 24, 2021 at 10:29 am

    So happy to read your post! Excited to read the book,

19. Beth R | August 24, 2021 at 1:10 pm

    What a wonderful update, and so timely! Yesterday directly behind the old Villa Am Meer on the beach I looked up your blog for the weekend caretaker, a young man who was interested in the history of the place he was working. I have been inside the now refurbished Villa, it is beautiful. Your writing and blog on Jacobs story have been amazing. I cannot wait to read Patty’s book. As someone who lives full time on Longboat Key but used to live in St. Cloud, MN, I have read each entry with much interest and especially Jacobs since that was such a gut punch. Thanks for the update, can’t wait to hear what you write about next!

20. Karen | August 30, 2021 at 9:35 am

    It was great to get a notification of a new post from you. I’ll be looking forward to more. Thanks, Joy.

21. Joan | September 19, 2021 at 9:18 pm

    Thank you for the update. I am old enough to remember the news of Jacob when it happened. I am so appreciative that you helped other victims know they were not alone. Finally to have some closure. I was hoping the legislature would have followed up on more accountability of local county Sheriff’s with the BCA or Department of public safety as Stearns county sheriff let so many people down. I look forward to the memoir.

22. Wendy Graves | September 21, 2021 at 4:30 pm

    All I can say is “WOW”, what an unimaginable nightmare that turned into a loving friendship between two unbelievable women!

23. Kat | October 8, 2022 at 8:07 pm

    Hi Joy. I heard about this case shortly after moving to Minnesota years ago after an acquaintance mentioned they were covering this case on the In the Dark podcast. I didn’t come across your blog until after the first season had finished, and I was astonished how much work you and Jared Scheirl did to connect all the dots. Did In the Dark ever contact you to be on the podcast? I thought it was strange they talked to Jared but not to you. Take care!

24. joy.the.curious | October 10, 2022 at 10:12 am

    Hi Kat. Thanks for your message. Actually, Madeleine Baran did interview me for the podcast, so I’m not sure why it wasn’t included. There was a short clip that they used in their promotional trailer, but that was it. I do have to admit, I was a little surprised and disappointed not to be included at all, but I know they did a lot of last minute scrambling and rewriting since Jacob’s remains were found the same week the podcast came out.